


A Way of Coping (and Never Really Existing in the First Place)

by BlackIce_K1lls



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Existentialism, Gen, Ishida is kinda like a fusion?, Ishida needs love, Ishimaru Kiyotaka as Ishida | Kiyondo, Its almost 3 AM, POV First Person, Srsly someone please figure out what Ishida is, i think
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:54:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23475799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackIce_K1lls/pseuds/BlackIce_K1lls
Summary: I wanna exist.
Relationships: Ishimaru Kiyotaka & Oowada Mondo, Ishimaru Kiyotaka/Oowada Mondo
Comments: 5
Kudos: 68





	A Way of Coping (and Never Really Existing in the First Place)

**Author's Note:**

> Look it's 2 in the morning and I got into danganronpa. Ishida needs love.

As long as this _body_ lives, I exist.

As long as these _**souls**_ stay together, I exist.

For as long as I can remember existing, I am just a coping mechanism. Just the unfortunate result of a friendship ruined. **Yeah, think nothin’ of it!** The circumstances are odd, yeah, for sure.

A killing game is responsible for ~~his~~ ~~their~~ ~~our~~ my existence. I don’t know how to feel ‘bout that. _I don’t wanna think about that._ This body, it wants to live but the dude inside already died. I don’t really wanna think ‘bout that.

I don’t wanna think at all. I want to live, exist, do things. But I am nothing but a mechanism of coping. His ~~Their~~ ~~Our~~ ~~My~~ chest burns with the passion of life only because of me and a computer. **It feels euphoric.** _It feels cathartic. **It feels so right.**_

It’s late and there’s a note. It screams suspicious but he doesn’t care. ~~They don’t care. We don’t care. I don’t care.~~ He goes anyway. ~~They go anyway. We go anyway. I go anyway.~~ **It’s frustrating waiting.** _It’s frustrating standing._

You gotta occupy your time while waiting. You have ta think. I don’t wanna think. I want to exist. Jus’ live y’know?. 

But I think to most, I don’t really exist as myself. I am just a part. A facet. _Not one to think much of._ Expendable. Unimportant to much of anythin’. Maybe a joke? **That’s cruel.** I wanna live.

Crap, I’m thinking again. _I hate it._

Shit, I cursed. Fuck. Shit. 

...

What’s the point of existing? No duh, ~~him~~ ~~them~~ ~~us~~ me existing was unintentional. I wasn’t supposed to be here. ~~He’s~~ ~~They’re~~ ~~We’re~~ I’m thinking again. Crap.

**It feels like a sauna in here.** He’s thinking ‘bout him again. They can’t eat. We reject food. I can’t. Get over it and let him go! **Well, fuck I wanna stay fucker!** _Why would you want to?_ **Fuck you, that's why!** I’m thinkin’ again.

_The hell are they?_ **No fuckin’ clue**.

_Passion’s gone._ **WHY?** _Died like a few days ago._ **SINCE THAT?** Fuck, WHERE THE FUCK ARE THEY? ~~He’s been waitin’! They’ve been waiting’! We’ve been waiting~~! I’ve been waiting! Fuck! ~~He~~ ~~They~~ ~~We~~ I might as well not be here!

Still…

For as long as I’ve existed, the boys named _Ishimaru Kiyotaka_ and **Mondo Oodawa** were my soul. The former’s body being the only anchor. But if ~~his~~ ~~their~~ ~~our~~ my body were to die…

Then did I really exi-

-

The white hair faded back into black, stained with pink.

“I’ve been wonderin’, who was that?”

Taka’s eyes shifted, staring down his corpse. “I don’t quite know, myself.”


End file.
